


It's a Lovely Afternoon In Ebott

by keelywolfe



Series: by any other name [104]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25293460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelywolfe/pseuds/keelywolfe
Summary: ...and Edge is going to spend it in the park with his husband. Surely nothing will go wrong!
Relationships: Papcest, Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale), Spicyhoney, Underfell Papyrus/Underswap Papyrus
Series: by any other name [104]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1039829
Comments: 31
Kudos: 88





	It's a Lovely Afternoon In Ebott

* * *

“so, what do you have going on today?”

Simple words, but they immediately put Edge on guard. He knew them for what they truly were and that was a trap.

“Nothing specific,” Edge hedged. His real plan was to catch up on some paperwork. His husband’s so-called innocent smile widened, and it was as good as a snare, catching Edge against his will and holding him in because there was little that he wouldn’t do to keep that smile around a little longer. He sighed inwardly and gave into his fate, “What did you have in mind?”

“i am so glad you asked.” Stretch climbed over the arm of the sofa and clumsily sprawled into Edge’s lap, “i thought maybe we could go to the park.”

It was difficult to hold back a grimace. Normally, Edge would be more than happy to go to the park. Ebott park was a true community project; the Embassy donated regularly for everything from the flower beds to repairs. There were walking trails and a nature center that held classes for everything from bird watching to stargazing. Last year, the community contributed to the building of a fully accessible tree-house that anyone could visit, whether they were a child or only one at heart. A trip to the park made for a truly enjoyable day.

Today, however, Edge found he was reluctant. His leg was healing well, but he still wasn’t completely back on his feet and while he could bring his mobility scooter or his cane, his deepest instincts screeched against revealing such weaknesses.

Ridiculous thinking, he was already exposed from returning to work at the Embassy. As many times as his intuitions had saved him in the past, he couldn’t allow them to hold him back in this world. As Red told him before, if he wasn’t willing to adjust, then why did they bother coming up into the sunshine?

Stretch was looking up from his lap, waiting with patient hopefulness. If Edge told him he was too tired or his leg was bothering him, Stretch would accept that, and nothing would come of it but fleeting disappointment. 

Instead, Edge settled a hand on Stretch’s skull, smoothing a gloved thumb over the curved bone. “What is it that has you so interested in the park?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” Stretch fumbled out his phone and held it out wrongside up, showing an upside-down photo of a lake. “according the community board, this year’s ducklings have hatched and they are on the lake as we speak. they are inviting visitors to come see the new residents and to feed the ducks.”

“Ducks,” Edge repeated slowly, drawing out the ‘s’ in a sibilant hiss. "Why would we want to feed random ducks?"

Stretch shifted in his lap, grinning, "because i'm not on a first name basis with any other ducks?"

"You have chickens."

"that is true,” Stretch agreed, “but as far as i am aware, i don't have a lake or ducks, which is why i’m having to outsource."

“There will be rules.”

“babe, i never expected anything else.”

“You will not approach the ducks any closer than feeding range,” Edge ticked each one off on a finger, “You do not pet the ducks. We will not be bringing a duck home with us nor a duckling. Nor any other incarnation or distant relation of a duck. Nothing even remotely duck-like will be joining us, period."

“we’re feeding the ducks, babe, i’m not plotting a poultry heist,” Stretch scoffed, “anything else, commandant?”

“No, thank you, and the honorific of Captain will suffice.”

* * *

The drive alone was an enjoyable one, the weather warm enough to put the convertible top down. Stretch sprawled out in the passenger seat, sunglasses in place and his face tilted into the breeze. 

When they pulled into the parking lot, it was already lined with cars, families caravanning in with their SUVs, beleaguered parents trailing behind carrying coolers and wagons while their children ran ahead. The parking spot Edge found was far from ideal, his convertible squeezed in between a Jeep and a somewhat battered minivan with a collection of cheery stick figures decals in the back window to clarify exactly how many members were in their family, parents and children, all the way down to a vapid-looking fish. 

Already Edge was picturing the dents from overeager young passengers slamming open their doors into the sides of his car and Edge grit his teeth, rounding the car to get their own cooler from the trunk. “I hope you brought some bread to feed these newsworthy ducks.”

“bread?” Stretch scoffed, only just catching himself from leaning on the car’s quarter panel. He aborted before a single bony finger touched, and possibly scratched, the glossy red paint, and crammed both hands into his short pockets instead. “bread is terrible for ducks, we can keep the carbs for french toast day. i brought frozen peas!"

Edge stopped, looking around the trunk lid at his husband. “The peas from our freezer? The ones from our garden last year that I was planning to use this weekend?”

"…no?"

“Did no one tell me that this is opposite day where no means yes?” Edge said to no one in particular, then directly back at Stretch, ”You do realize that if you try to replace any frozen garden vegetables in our freezer with some awful generic purchased from the grocery store, I will notice, don’t you.”

Stretch only breezed past him, heading into the park, and as Edge slammed the trunk shut, he almost thought he heard, “you didn’t last time.”

Straight into the park from the lot was the playground, shrieks of laughter carrying from the structure to the scattered picnic tables and pavilions. The lake was deeper in, its murky water not meant for swimming and the surrounding shaggy vegetation was cleared away around the long dock. Out in the placid water were a couple of boats, any passengers more concerned with their afternoon naps than the fishing poles in their laps. 

The rest of the park was not only on another page, but an entirely different book. A glance showed the playground was overloaded with children making use of the swings and teeter-totters. There were plenty more children on and around the dock being coached by their parents to lightly toss their treats to the ducks and the tiny yellow puffs of their offspring, not hurl them. Still others ran along the lake shore, laughing and shouting, playing tag and the occasional parent towering over them offered no reprimands as they ran and shoved their way around. 

That careless childish roughhousing gave Edge pause. Normally a crowd wouldn’t bother him. Well, that wasn’t precisely true, but he was able to quash his worries for the most part, particularly around the Monster children.

At this park, surrounded by so many Humans, it was difficult to stifle a protest over Stretch venturing out onto the dock. Children could be incautious, could be easily frustrated, and their parents could be easily roused by any slight, real or imagined. It would take less than most Humans would expect for them to seriously injure Stretch; Humans had so much more physicality than Monsters, their intent carried more weight. A little childish roughhousing that would mean nothing to a human child past a bit of sullen retaliation could badly hurt a Monster with low HP. 

It was one of the reasons Edge’s was reluctant to bring Stretch along for his work with the YMCA. They were good children, but they _were_ children. Better to keep Stretch away so that no one suffered any unfortunate consequences. 

And therein lay a problem. Refusing to bring Stretch to the Y was his choice and one that he suspected exasperated Stretch though he never pushed. Here, he had no right to try to stifle Stretch in any way. In light of his recent rise in HP, Stretch was likely to be even more frustrated by any overprotectiveness.

Even asking Stretch to perhaps consider another time or day to indulge in his recent need to offer frozen peas to strange ducks wouldn’t go over well, might even anger Stretch, and Edge wouldn’t blame him if it did. As he so often reminded Edge, he was the older of the two of them and he’d been dealing with his low HP all his life. 

Stretch knew how to take care of himself or he wouldn’t be here now, and oh, how much Edge wished he hadn’t thought that. He busied himself with setting their cooler beneath an out of the way shady tree, shaking out a blanket for them to sit on. 

Stretch helped him spread out the blanket, giving the park a thoughtful glance. 

“huh, pretty crowded, isn’t it,” Stretch peered at the dock, his mouth twisting, “maybe i’ll take a walk around the shoreline, see if i can find a less populated clearing.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Edge tried to keep the gratitude from his voice and thought he was mostly successful. Only mostly, since Stretch offered him a lopsided smile before ambling off in the direction of the lake with his pilfered bag of peas. 

It was something of a relief to sit down on their picnic blanket, a slight grunt escaping him as he stretched out his leg in front of him. It was better, Edge reminded himself, slow as it was, every day it was getting better and even if he’d had to barter for a little illicit healing on his first day back to the Embassy, it was better since then. In fact, he should send a thank you card for the kindness, perhaps a small gift, and—

Sudden shouts made him jerk and Edge scrambled awkwardly to his feet, scanning the crowd. There were Humans running away from the lake, mostly shrieking children, their short legs churning as they ran. The long glass was rustling fiercely, parting violently and that was when he saw Stretch. At first, Stretch was all but scrambling in the air like a character in an old Scooby Doo cartoon. Once he got moving, though, he was surprisingly quick for someone who claimed to have perfected the ancient art of laziness. 

Long legs carried him swiftly away and Edge, along with the rest of the park, was treated to the sight of skeleton who topped the tape measure at nearly seven feet tall sprinting frantically away from a large goose. 

Edge watched mutely as Stretch scrambled up the first available tree with hardly a pause, clinging to the trunk as he came to a stop on a wide branch. The goose paused at the base of the tree, flapping its wings threateningly as it hissed up at the branches.

Well. That was…well. 

There were a few options available here. Edge could head back to the car, start it up, and leave Stretch here to his new home. Perhaps Edge could move away, join the circus. Substitute knife throwing for bones, he had a deft hand, no apple would be safe from his wroth, and he’d look excellent in tight costume. 

Or he could take up bank robbery, he’d read the plan that Stretch drew up for the game that he and Jeff were playing, a little classic heisting to support himself until he went down in a blaze of glory.

Or, Edge could claim Stretch as his own and be broadly painted with the same idiot brush. 

As if there were truly any choice. Dreams of joining the entertainment industry or grand larceny aside, he'd chosen to hitch his wagon to Stretch’s star the moment he put a ring on his slender finger.

Edge retrieved his cane and walked over, past a group of kindhearted Humans who seemed to be attempting to come up with a rescue strategy. He kept a safe distance from the goose, who was still focused on their treebound quarry.

“What on earth are you doing?” Edge called exasperatedly, “You can use magic! _You can teleport!!"_

"i panicked!" Stretch said defensively. Both his long arms were wound around the trunk of the tree, clinging for dear life. His horrible sandals dangled precariously close to the goose’s snapping beak. “besides, i don’t want it to go for any of the kids!”

Of course he didn’t. His love’s soul was purest silver, but if he’d had a heart it would be made of the finest gold. 

The goose was unimpressed with either. It circled the tree trunk, its beady gaze on Stretch and surely working on a new plan of attack. The Humans were still milling around in indecision.

“Should we call 911?” asked one woman, timidly.

“Naw, animal control,” one of the men put in. 

“Neither,” Edge said decisively, “One moment, please.”

With a flick of his fingers, he summoned his magic, turning the goose’s (small, pulsing rapidly, crimson with determination) soul blue.

The goose hissed furiously as Edge walked over to it, showing off a disturbingly barbed tongue, but it was helpless against being picked up and tucked under one arm to be carried back to the pond. It couldn’t move but it could create a hell of a racket, honking and hissing as Edge limped his way back through the tall grass where Stretch had come from. 

“You’re being ridiculous,” Edge sighed. “You can’t move, even to hurt yourself. Let’s take you back to the water.”

As he approached the lake, a sound rose up, a frantic sort of peeping. He passed through the shaggy weeds and into the clearing to find a clutter of goslings stumbling over each other on the shoreline. The peeping increased in volume as they caught sight of the goose in Edge’s arms, one enterprising little creature offered a tiny hiss of its own.

“Very good,” Edge told it approvingly. “Soon you’ll be able to threaten children and skeletons on your own.”

Edge set the goose back amongst its little ones and backed away even as the counter ticked down and the hold of blue magic eased. 

The goose was disoriented at first, distrusting of its freedom. Then it swung around to glare at Edge, seeming to be trying to decide if another attempt at aggravated assault would be worth the effort. 

“You can try,” Edge said calmly. He raised a hand, his magic at the ready. “but we’ll only end up here again. It’s up to you how much time you’d like to waste.”

In the end, the goose decided it had pressing business on the other side of the lake. It waddled into the water, then glided along with deceptive grace, the goslings falling into line behind it. 

Edge watched to make sure it didn’t change its mind. It was a rather bemusing use of his brother’s lessons about never turning his back on a potential threat, certainly the most unusual.

When he turned back to the park, he was startled to find a crowd standing a safe distance away from him. The clapping was scattered at first and slowly grew to full blown applause, children and adults alike cheering. Even Stretch, still in his leafy perch, was clapping, although his grin all but glowed with pride. A fair sign that he wasn’t having longing fantasies about joining the circus. That made one of them.

Heat seared his cheek bones as Edge made his way through the crowd, dismally hoping that all this wasn’t about to start trending on some sort of Angel-forsaken social media post. From the way several people’s cell phones were in hand, that sad little hope was one in vain. 

Edge walked purposefully away from the crowd, back to the tree and its latest occupant. He held out his arms and asked dryly, “Do you need me to catch you?”

There was a brief cool touch of void as Stretch’s slight weight was abruptly in his arms. His husband brushed a kiss against Edge’s overly warm cheek bone before he said, teasingly, “my hero.”

“You’re welcome,” Edge glanced back at the lake, “You know, I’m only familiar with a few nursery rhymes, but I never expected to meet Mother Goose in person.”

“heh, maybe she mistook me for the farmer in the dell,” Stretch squirmed loose of Edge’s arms, getting his feet under him, “c’mon, i lost the peas in the drink when mama over there tried to play a little duck duck goose with me. may as well go have lunch.”

“All right.” Edge let Stretch lead the way back to the blanket, following along behind with his cane in hand. 

Their day at the park was certainly different than Edge ever could have imagined, but that was all right. The only goose Edge had on his mind now was the one he was about to pinch on his husband’s lovely backside.

-finis-


End file.
